


Maze

by leejenowo



Series: Tattoo [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-04-18 05:26:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14206044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leejenowo/pseuds/leejenowo
Summary: Jeno has less than a month to get out of the maze he has been stuck in since he was born. The quest to finding his soulmate has been less than successful so far and Jeno is scared that his heart will be forever broken on the day of his 18th birthday. But little does he know about the boy without the maze.





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a fanfic since... 2014? I plan to finish this as quickly as possible just to get the satisfaction of finishing something because college definitely isn't doing me any good. Anyways... English is not my first language, but I hope there's not too many mistakes. Enjoy!

Jeno was one complicated person. His whole life was one intricate labyrinth in which he was stuck. His numerous failures were similar to the dead ends you come to meet every once in a while when you take the wrong turn. But for Jeno, it was more than that. Every time he would do something, he would end up having to walk back in his own steps and start again. Every time. It was like his labyrinth had no end. It was like Destiny had forgotten to give him an exit. 

He knew the universe wouldn't make it easy for him and he definitely wasn't the only one who came across obstacles and had trouble overcoming them. But he definitely did feel like he was the only one who had to go through this process of failing, crying, picking himself up and starting again that many times. And he also felt like he was alone in this.

Everyone around him had met their soulmate already and they were all already on the way to the exit of their labyrinth, together. But Jeno had never met his soulmate, at least not yet. But his time was running out.

Jeno had heard stories from his friends and parents about people who never found their soulmate and were never able to escape their maze. It wasn't that big of a deal in itself. You could still fall in love with someone, despite them not being your soulmate, but relationships were bound to be failures in that case. It was something about the complementarity and the chemistry of the souls. He had dated a couple of girls - and guys too - but none of them had turned out to be the One. 

Jeno was desperate, to say the least. He had dreamed of finding his soulmate since he was young. He wanted to find the person who was made for him. He wished he was lucky like his best friends, Renjun and Donghyuck, who had found each other when they were still kids. They always knew everything about how each other felt and Jeno always had that impression that he was left out. Renjun and Donghyuck were not a couple, but for strangers and people who didn't know them too well, they definitely felt like one.

The soulmates were not necessarily meant to be a couple. Some, like his best friends, were just similar souls. They had tried dating, but the similarities between each of them just ended up causing fights and they decided to break it off. Being friends was perfectly ok with them. Other soulmates, like his parents, were just complimentary, made for each other. They had found each other so quickly too and both of their lives had been so easy after that.

But Jeno didn’t have that chance. 

He was about to turn 18 in less than a month, but there was still no sign of his soulmate anywhere. He had heard stories about people losing their soulmate forever after they turn 18 and living a life of misery. Even his parents would scare him sometimes with a story about his mom's aunt that died when she turned 18. All because she never found her soulmate. Jeno was definitely really scared of that happening to him because so far, none of his research had come to any conclusion, and he didn’t want to die like that aunt he never knew.

His friend Dongyoung had once told him that it was possible for someone to be born without a soulmate, but seeing as he had a maze on his wrist, he found it quite improbable. There had to be someone else that had the same maze has him tattooed somewhere on his body.

Jeno’s train of thoughts was suddenly broken by a hand waving in front of his eyes.

“Yo? Are you good?” It was his best friend Donghyuck, the one he had just been thinking about. “Oh god, you’re still worrying about your soulmate? You still have a lot of time to find them!”

Jeno almost choked to death when he took a sip of his drink. “You’re kidding right? I turn 18 in a month! That’s not a lot of time.”

“Still, don’t worry! You’ll find them or they’ll find you,” Donghyuck said nonchalantly, too preoccupied with the fact that his fries were not crispy enough.

Jeno frowned at him. “You’re one to talk! You met your soulmate when you were like 7 and it just frustrates me that you don’t see how hard it is for someone who hasn’t found their soulmate yet!”

He hated getting mad at his friends over this whole soulmate thing, especially Donghyuck, but he couldn’t help it. Dongyoung had his soulmate, Jungwoo, by his side since he was 15 and Jungwoo was 13. Jeno remembers watching them both spend time together at Dongyoung’s house when they found each other and he was jealous. Dongyoung had been his neighbour for his whole life and despite the age gap, they would spend a lot of time together and Jeno thought of him as his older brother. But when Jungwoo came, Dongyoung barely visited him anymore and he had to find new friends. And making new friends had never been easy for Jeno. He somewhat always ended up either making a fool of himself in front of others by falling or messing something up. So he would usually just spend his time at school alone.

But one day he met this Chinese boy named Renjun at the park and he suddenly was also friends with this other boy, Donghyuck. They both stayed by his side and Jeno accepted them into his life, ready to say goodbye to them the next time he would mess something up. But it never happened and he was still friends with all of them, even Jungwoo, all these years later.

“You know I don’t mean it like that.” Donghyuck had stopped eating his fries to look at him seriously. “Yes, you went through some rough patches here and there but we were always there to pick you up. It won’t be any different when you turn 18, soulmate or not.”

The door of the fast food restaurant rang loudly behind them, signalling the arrival of new clients.

“What if I die from the heartbreak? My mom told me about her aunt and she said that when she turned 18, the pain of feeling her bond break killed her,” Jeno hid his face in his hands and mumbled between his fingers, “What if the same thing happens to me?”

A strong hand was suddenly shaking his shoulder.

“Ya, Jenos, stop thinking about this already.” Jeno turned to see the smiling face of Jungwoo standing over him.

Jeno was confused. “Jungwoo? What are you doing here?”

“Hey Zeus, how are you doing?” Donghyuck smiled with his mouth full of fries and ended up having to take a sip of his soda after choking on them.

“I’m good Hyuckie, don’t die please!” Jungwoo smiled at him before turning back to Jeno. “I’m picking you up because Dongyoung was called to work so he sent me.”

“How did you know we were here? Did you follow us? Are you a stalker?” Jeno liked messing with Jungwoo and they both knew it was just for the laughs. Donghyuck snickered at the accusations thrown at the older boy.

Jungwoo played along with Jeno as he knew Donghyuck was quite impressionable.

“I put a GPS tracker on your phone and followed the signal right to this place. It was pretty easy as you leave your phone laying around anywhere whenever you come over,” he said simply, trying to act as if it really wasn’t that big of a deal.

Donghyuck looked at him with big eyes, his mouth slightly opened. “Really?!” Jungwoo just smiled smugly at him. 

“Okay but I could use this! There’s this boy in school and-” Donghyuck was really excited about Jungwoo's newfound fake skill and he was already making up plans.

“You mean your boyfriend?” Jeno had interrupted him, trying to hide his laugh behind his hands.

“Ya!” Donghyuck almost threw the last couple of fries but decided against it since they were the last of his precious meal. He instead looked down at his tray, a slight blush creeping on his cheeks. “He’s not my boyfriend… He’s just a guy…”

“Ok… Whatever he is I am not putting a GPS tracker on his phone because I am pretty sure that is illegal and Dongyoung would probably kill me if I went to prison for helping you get a man, so no.” Jungwoo was strongly opposing Donghyuck’s suggestion, but he still wasn’t telling him about how he did not know how to track a phone or if GPS tracker even existed.

“Jungwoo didn’t actually put a GPS tracker on my phone Donghyuck.” Jeno had taken it upon himself to help the poor guy out with his broken dreams before whispering to himself, “At least, I think he didn’t…” 

“Jenos we gotta get going or your mom will start to worry and she’ll blow up Dongyoung’s phone while he’s at work and he won’t answer which means she’ll blow up my phone and I don’t want that.” 

Jeno sighed and started picking up his books because yes, he had been studying in Mcdonald’s. Shoving the books in his school bag, he turned to look at his friend who was still sitting in the chair opposite him.

“Do you want a ride? I’m sure Jungwoo wouldn’t mind, right Jungwoo?” He turned to Jungwoo with a little pout and batted his eyelashes at him.

“Oh! Yes, of course, I would give you a ride too Hyuckie!” Jungwoo smiled sweetly at Donghyuck, accepting his suggestion, and suddenly cupped both his cheeks between his hands. “But give me a kiss first!”

“Ew! I’m telling Dongyoung about this!” Donghyuck pushed Jungwoo’s face away so quickly he probably gave himself whiplash. Jeno laughed at both of his friends before getting up. “I’ll go wait in the car while Hyuck cleans his mess up because he’s not leaving this table like that!” 

Jeno quickly rushed out leaving a laughing Jungwoo behind while Donghyuck complained about how the workers were paid to clean the tables up, but still started picking up fries from the benches and the table.

In his haste to leave the image of Jungwoo’s kissy face inside the restaurant and far away from his own thoughts, he came crashing with a customer that was just coming in. He instantly bowed down to apologize, but the small space of the doorway wasn’t playing in his favour and when he looked back up, he hit his head against the boy’s. His whole vocabulary had suddenly transformed into words of apology.

He finally dared to look up and his words were gone, the last of his phrase lost on the tip of his tongue. “I’m so…”

“It’s okay! It didn’t hurt that much anyway!” The boy was now smiling and Jeno could look at his face. 

He was young, maybe younger than him, maybe the same age. He was slightly taller than him, but all Jeno could focus on was his smile. His teeth were perfect and so were his lips. Jeno wanted to kiss him and that thought scared him because he had actually never thought that of anyone. Jeno had dated here and there, but nothing was ever that serious when you’re a teenager waiting for your soulmate to show up. This unknown boy had run into him and knocked his head on his and all he could now think about was how beautiful his smile was and how kissable his lips looked.

“Good! Have a great day.” Jeno had panicked and left just like that, running out what was left of the steps to take to get outside, leaving the beautiful brown haired boy inside, probably confused.

He had never felt anything like that and it was exciting, yet so scary. It was like electricity was running through his whole body and he had never felt so alive. That was the scariest part. He had never met anyone who made him feel that way. 

The sudden encounter left him breathless and he had to lean on the brick wall of the Mcdonald’s to catch his breath. He leaned his head back on the wall, trying his best not to run back inside the restaurant to jump on a complete stranger. It was at that moment that Donghyuck and Jungwoo finally exited the place.

“Come on Jeno! We’re ready!” Jungwoo waved him closer and Jeno walked to them in automatic mode. It was like his brain had fallen off when the boy and he had crashed together and he had forgotten to pick it up.

“Are you good man? You’re all red.” Donghyuck looked at him concerned.

“What if he ran into his soulmate and missed them,” Jungwoo said jokingly. “What if he never sees them again!”

Jungwoo and Donghyuck both laughed, but it got Jeno thinking.

What if it really was him?


	2. Second Impression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit rushed because LIFE... Enjoy!

“How did it feel when you met Jungwoo?” Jeno was sprawled on Dongyoung’s bed as he looked at the ceiling. He sighed for what felt like the hundredth time since Jungwoo had brought him back home the day before and Dongyoung finally looked at him.

Dongyoung wasn’t trying to ignore his friend, but his sighing had finally gotten to him and his attention was diverted from his art history paper he was currently writing. 

“What’s with you suddenly? Did Jungwoo joke about you never meeting your soulmate again?” He glanced at his paper before sighing in frustration. “Do you know what the use of marble in early centuries sculpture can evoke? I’m totally lost here.”

“I don’t know? It was cheap and accessible? Who cares…” Jeno rolled on his stomach and held himself up on his elbows, his chin resting in his palms. “Dong how did you meet Jungwoo? How did it feel like?”  
Dongyoung finally closed his book and turned his chair so he could focus his whole attention on him. 

“Pretty sure I’ve told you that already but here I go again I guess. Jungwoo was 13 and I was 15. He had recently moved in the district and had been transferred to our school. I met him at soccer practice and I remember the coach telling him he would have to wait for the next year to try out for the team because the season was already started. He was sitting in the bleachers after that and I went to see him because he looked sad and he was pretty cute.” Dongyoung smiled sweetly while remembering his first encounter with his now boyfriend. It made Jeno want to throw up because they were so… cheesy. But he also felt really jealous of the relationship they had together.

“And how did you know he was your soulmate? What did it feel like?” Jeno was getting frustrated because he knew how Dongyoung and Jungwoo had met. He wanted to know how they found out they were soulmates.

“I touched his arm and that was all I needed to know. What I felt then was spectacular. I really don’t think I can explain it in words. It was like electricity went through my whole body and the air was knocked out of me. I had to sit beside him because the whole thing was quite troubling. I thought it was the heat at first since we had been practicing for a while already, but when I looked at him… Jeno, it was so…” Dongyoung was trying really hard to find a word to describe the feeling he had gotten when he had looked up at the younger boy for the first time. “Wow. It was just wow. Jungwoo looked just so stunning. And I never had the time to look away. It took us less than a week to know basically everything about each other. I had never felt so close to him! I mean maybe except when we had-” Dongyoung was going too far with his explanation now and Jeno did not want to hear the rest of what he was going to say.

“Enough!” Jeno had quickly interrupted him, blocking his ears from the rest of his sentence.

Dongyoung snickered. “ You’re a baby! I was gonna say our first kiss but do you want to know about when we first had-”

Jeno opposed to it just as quick as he did the first time. “EW! Don’t! I’ve heard enough already.” He made a disgusted face at the thought of what Dongyoung could have told him. Their harmless banter almost made him forget about how his friend described the bond Jungwoo and him have.

“The electricity… It’s for real?” Dongyoung looked at the youngest confused.

“You already knew about it? Why did you ask then?”

“I-” How could Jeno put it in a way that wouldn’t freak his friend out? “I think I found my soulmate, Dong. The electricity… I felt it.”

“You met your soulmate? Finally!” Dongyoung’s excitement quickly dissipated when he noticed Jeno’s trouble look. “Are you not happy? Oh no… Don’t tell me…” The oldest sighed, exasperated. “You didn’t ask for their name?” Seeing Jeno’s guilty face was enough to make him understand. “Lee Jeno! How could you? They could be lost forever and now you have an actual reason to be scared about your 18th anniversary. You’re so stupid! Why did you not ask them?”

He hit Jeno on the arm, making him protest loudly. “I freaked out okay?!” Jeno sighed dramatically. “Dong… I miss him so much but I don’t even know his name. How could this happen to me? Why me of all people?” He wanted to cry, but Dongyoung would probably laugh at him for being so pathetic.

“So your soulmate is a boy? Destiny really hates straight people I swear!”

“Dong…” Jeno whispered miserably. “Why did it have to be me? I’ve been dreaming about meeting my soulmate for years. I’ve seen you fall in love. I’ve watched Renjun and Hyuckie become inseparable… I’ve never had something good like you do. Why is Destiny so blind when it comes to me?”

“Jeno…” Dongyoung did feel bad about all the times Jungwoo and him spent together and he never really noticed how Jeno was left alone, even when he was with his best friends. He didn’t hesitate to get up and sit beside Jeno on the bed, hugging him from the side.

“I’m sure you’ll meet him again soon enough, yeah?” He gently shook him by the shoulder before laying his head on top of his.

“Yeah… I guess it’s not like Seoul has 10 million people…” Jeno looked down at his lap, but his body naturally leaned into Dongyoung. He appreciated the comfort and warmth his body was offering. “I really want to see him again. He’s so beautiful Dong…”

Now that he said it outloud, Jeno felt weirdly incomplete. It was like the guy he had met had suddenly disappeared, like he didn't exist. Jeno was actually scared that it had only been his imagination and he had completely made him up in his head. This whole soulmate thing had been driving Jeno insane for years, but now it was something that was even more scary. He had felt it, the electricity, the shock, that Dongyoung had described and knowing that it was something real made him freak out. He couldn't tell if the feeling was real or if it had just been his brain that had made it up, tired of the endless thoughts of never finding his soulmate. The fact that the other guy had looked completely normal while Jeno was freaking out both in the inside and the outside didn't help at all.

Jeno felt so stupid too. The guy, if he had been real, was still a complete stranger to him. He had left so quickly that he did not even think about asking his name or his phone number or any information at all. The image of the boy's smile was still vivid in his brain and it was hard for him to think about something that didn't include wanting to kiss his lips or being kissed. This boy was like Jeno's new obsession, a drug he couldn’t get enough of.

The doorbell suddenly rang, forcing Jeno to erase the image of the boy from his mind so he could focus on something else.

“Ah they’re here finally!” Dongyoung exclaimed and quickly got up to go open the front door.

Jeno followed him to the top of the stairs, confused about who could be visiting them at such an hour. “You were waiting for someone? Why did you not tell me? I would have went back home…” Jungwoo wasn’t back from his soccer practice and Jeno didn’t want to be stuck with people he didn’t know, especially Dongyoung’s adult friends from university.

“Yeah. I have a project with this guy from uni so I invited him over to finish it more quickly and-” he was interrupted by a knock on the door. “So impatient…” He complained before hurrying to unlock the door. 

He had barely opened the door that a body was already trying to squeeze itself through the door. 

“Where’s the toilet man? I really gotta go!” The man was already well on its way inside the house and Dongyoung hadn’t noticed the younger boy standing on the other side of the front door.

“Upstairs, third door on the left.” Dongyoung quickly instructed him to the bathroom before noticing the dirt on the floor. “Ya! Nakamoto Yuta! Take off your goddamn shoes when you enter a house!”

Dongyoung sighed and turned back to the door to close it and lock it after his friend, but was surprised to find a kid around Jeno’s age standing there. He silently invited him in and the boy quickly took of his shoes, putting them nicely against the walls. 

“Hi.” The boy’s voice was really soft and Dongyoung almost had to cup his ear to hear what he had said. That or he was getting too old and was about to become deaf. “I’m Jaemin. Yuta’s brother. Mom told me I had to tag along, sorry if it’s an inconvenience.” 

Dongyoung was speechless at how polite Jaemin was being as he was quite the opposite of his brother. “How? I mean Yuta is-”

He was cut off by Jaemin. “Not polite? Dirty? Annoying? I know I tell him everyday.”

“I was gonna say Japanese but that too. You’re not Japanese are you?”

“Oh! No I’m not!” Jaemin had gotten a bit too excited thinking Yuta’s friend was also going to diss his brother like he usually did, but he wasn’t surprised at the question. It was not really common to see a family with a Korean and a Japanese kid, especially knowing the history of both countries. So Jaemin decided to quickly explain how his mom married a Japanese guy who already had a kid after her divorce with his father years ago. They had been raised in different countries at different times which explained the differences in their behavior. But they still got along pretty well for step brothers. At least, they tried to.

“Are you sure I’m not bothering though? I can go take a walk while you work on your project and you can tell Yuta to text me when you’re done.” Jaemin didn’t want to be a bother, but most of all, he didn’t want to be stuck with adults. Especially two uni boys who actually cared about their grades in the most useless class ever: 19th century visual art.

“No it’s okay!” Dongyoung looked up at the first floor and called out for Jeno to come out. “Ya Jenos come downstairs I found a friend for you!”

Jeno opened the door of Dongyoung’s door and came to the railing of the first floor, annoyed at his friend for once again disturbing his day dreaming.

“What do want loser? I swear if it’s another frog like when I was 7 I’m actually ripping your head off you know how much I hate frogs…” His voice had gotten quieter as he noticed who was standing beside his oldest friend. The sight of the face he thought he would never see again completely broke his brain and he didn’t know how to form coherent sentences anymore. “I umm. Hi. I’m Jeno. I’m uh. Yeah…”

“Hi! I’m Jaemin!” He smiled that same smile he had seen not even 2 days ago and Jeno’s brain went in panic mode. He couldn’t feel his face anymore and his hands were sweaty. His breathing was difficult and he felt lightheaded. He wasn’t sure if this was normal, but Dongyoung had definitely not mentioned anything of the sort happening to him when he met Jungwoo.

“Are you okay Jeno?” Dongyoung asked when he noticed how pale his friend was.

Jeno tightened his grip on the railing. “I don’t think so…” Dongyoung glanced worriedly at Jaemin standing beside and he noticed how he was frowning, his smile gone from his face. 

“Do you want a glass of water?” Jeno gulped loudly, not that Dongyoung or Jaemin could hear, but they definitely saw his Adam’s apple go up and down rapidly. He would have nodded yes to Dongyoung’s suggestion had he not been so dizzy.  
“Your bathroom is really nice Dongyoung.” Yuta was coming out of the bathroom just a couple of feet away from where Jeno was standing. 

Jeno tried turning around to see who was talking, but his body didn’t follow. Instead, his hand fell from the railing and he closed his eyes.

“I’m going to…” faint. 

That was such a great first and second impression Jeno. You’re doing so well at this soulmate thing.


	3. Too early?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg this took me way too long to write thank you depression and college but here it is... it's a filler but that's the best my brain could produce to be honest i didn't even re-read it to see if i did any mistakes

Jeno woke up on a bed, eyes fluttering softly. His last memories were confused and all he could remember was the smiling boy. Jaemin he had said his name was. Jeno found it quite fitting. It somehow sounded so cheerful and so happy. It reminded him of the sun: warm and beautiful.

Jeno’s eyes had finally gotten used to the dim light of the room, the only source of lighting being by his bedside. He turned his head to the side to see what time it was and his alarm clock read 3:46AM. His gaze went back to his ceiling and he sighed. What if it had just been a dream? What if Jaemin really was someone he had made up entirely? The things he felt when he had seen him standing beside Dongyoung… It had felt so unreal and Jeno couldn’t explain why that time was so different. The electricity was still there, but the nausea and the dizziness that had suddenly hit him were so conflicting. No one he knew had ever mentioned fainting was a sign that you had met your soulmate.

Just thinking about Jaemin not being real made Jeno’s heart hurt. If he had really made him up, surely he wouldn’t get this feeling of emptiness. He wasn’t desperate enough to just invent someone and pretend that he had met his soulmate. People would just think that he was crazy. He had to find out if Jaemin had really been standing beside his friend.

Quickly sweeping his hands around on his bed, he got hold of his phone. He pressed the home button, hoping his phone still had battery. He was instantly blinded by the screen and he had to close his eyes, groaning. The brightness was usually on 0% when he went to sleep, but he wasn’t awake to turn it down this time. So now he was turning blind at almost 4AM because his screen luminosity was on 75%. Renjun and Donghyuck would always tell him that turning his luminosity up that high would fuck with his eyes and Jeno wished he had listened at that moment.

When he was finally able to open his eyes again, Jeno turned down the brightness of his screen and started reading his notifications: 38 messages on the group chat with Renjun and Donghyuck, 3 missed calls from Jungwoo, Renjun and Dongyoung and 3 messages from an unknown number.

He first opened the group chat and wasn’t surprised when he noticed that his friends had started a conversation with memes. They were both sending pictures without even texting anything. Then Donghyuck mentioned something about that guy he had a crush on, but Renjun completely ignored him and just sent another meme. The next message was Renjun cursing him out for not answering his phone when he needed help for his math homework. The last message was Donghyuck bringing up that guy again, saying he is ‘so cute’.

Jeno then moved on to the voice messages Jungwoo and Dongyoung had left him. Renjun had not bothered as he had already called him out about not answering on the group chat. Dongyoung was telling him to get as much sleep as he could and eat soup if he felt sick. Jungwoo, on the other hand, was telling him to not visit him if he really was sick because he had to go to university. His message was sweet but really clear as to what he should not be doing: being anywhere near him. Typical Jungwoo.

Jeno only had to check the text messages left by the unknown number. He really had no idea who it could be since only his friends and family had his number.

Unknown number: Hey! I hope you’re feeling better now. Too bad we didn’t get to hang out.  
Unknown number: Oh.. This is Na Jaemin, by the way.  
Unknown number: Dongyoung gave me your number because I was worried when you passed out. Hope that’s okay with you :)

Jeno’s breath hitched when he realised who the messages were from. Jaemin, THE Jaemin he had suddenly met just some days ago in the doorway of a fast food restaurant. It was such an unusual place to meet your soulmate and definitely not romantic either.

Jeno was actually ecstatic to know that he now had a way to communicate with Jaemin and he smiled just thinking about it. He wanted to answer Jaemin’s text and reassure him that he was feeling well and that he shouldn’t worry about him, but his stomach protested, rumbling loudly from hunger. His last memory was standing at the railing of Dongyoung’s first floor and looking down at the sun… Jaemin. He was at Dongyoung’s house the whole afternoon and all he had to eat was some celery because Dongyoung’s mom doesn’t buy junk food so he couldn’t eat whatever he wanted. And it was now 4 AM which meant that Jeno barely had anything to eat for the whole day. For a growing teenager, especially Jeno, it was hard to not eat anything else than celery.

His stomach made another noise and Jeno felt that sensation of nausea you get when you’ve been hungry for so long. He knew he had to get up to get food, but his mom was away for the weekend on a business trip, which means there probably wasn’t any food in the house and Jeno had no cooking skills whatsoever. He would usually go to Dongyoung’s house to get a meal, even something healthy, but it was early in the morning and his friend would probably hit him if he showed up at that hour. He had no choice but to try to cook something without burning the house like Donghyuck did one time.

Jeno sat up and sighed, still not feeling completely 100%. When he finally stood up, another wave of dizziness hit him, similar to what he had previously felt when he was looking at Jaemin. He closed his eyes but still proceeded to his bedroom door and, finally giving into his stomach cries of hunger, made his way to the kitchen.

In the kitchen, he discovered a cover plate on the counter with a note on top, neatly folded in 4. Dongyoung’s careful handwriting read something along the line of ‘you’re pitiful now that your mom is gone for the weekend. Here’s a meal so you don’t starve yourself to death loser’. Not exactly in those words, but Jeno knew that when his friend used smiley faces between each sentence it was because he was tired of him. On the plate, there was some freshly baked cookies - or a couple of hours old - and some chicken with rice. It was a simple dish, but the fact that Dongyoung had taken the time to make it for him warmed his heart.

Jeno looked at the phone in his hand as he waited for his plate to heat up in the microwave. He was still feeling quite excited about his earlier discovery: the mysterious guy, his presumed soulmate. Na Jaemin… It sounded so beautiful to him, just as beautiful as the guy itself. He couldn’t wait to talk to him again, even if it had to be through text messages. He wanted to reply so badly, but he knew he wouldn’t be getting an answer any time soon due to the early hour. Jeno wasn’t a patient person, but he also wasn’t the kind to take the first step. His friends always told him that he should be going to others first, but his past failures always weighed him down and he prefered telling them that he was just fine where he was. He would also get frustrated when the person he had a crush on wouldn’t notice him, but he was more of a passive guy. For him, it had always been inaction over action and it was frustrating to others, but mostly himself.

His passive attitude had lead to troubles more than once and Jeno wasn’t proud of some of his past mistakes. But he could change none of them, he could only learn and go on with life. He just hoped Jaemin's name wouldn’t be one of the things that he would have to put in the mistake basket.

Jeno couldn’t resist the temptation and he ended up unlocking his phone, typing a quick answer to Jaemin after saving his number under the name ‘Na Jaemin’, even though he wanted to write something like ‘the most beautiful boy’ or ‘the guy who outshines the sun when he smiles’. Just in case someone like Dongyoung, or worse, Jaemin himself, saw some horribly cheesy contact name and made fun of him for the rest of his life.

Lee Jeno: I’m fine don’t worry!  
Lee Jeno: We can hang out together another day, maybe tomorrow?  
Lee Jeno: I mean today? It’s 4AM haha :)

He had quickly typed another message debating whether he should add some emoji at the end of the message. Jaemin had done so, but Jeno really didn’t want to come off too strong and make his new acquaintance feel weirded out. He had pressed send without thinking more about it and already felt impatient for the answer. He didn’t really have any other choice than to wait for Jaemin to reply to his message because expecting a text from the guy he suddenly has a huge crush on at 4AM isn’t realistic at all.

Jeno had said it. He has a crush on this mysterious boy he met in the doorway of a McDonald’s by accident. The same boy who made him feel all these new things all at once. He just knows that he has met his soulmate. Jaemin has to be that other soul he has been looking for all his life. Faith made it so that they meet just weeks before his 18th birthday and Jeno is grateful that for once in his life, his wish has been granted. Out of the whole world population that is still soulmate-less, he found the prettiest boy he had ever seen, even his wildest dream couldn’t make up someone that looked this beautiful. He almost felt sorry for everyone else because he knew his soulmate was the most stunning human alive and no one would get to be with someone like Jaemin ever because he was his.

Jeno thought about how Jaemin’s eyes almost disappeared in small crescent when he smiled, kind of like him when he smiled brightly. He thought about how fluffy and soft his light brown hair looked and he could only imagine what it would be like to gently run his finger through it. He remembered his lips that had parted to reveal perfectly white and straight teeth and how his quiet voice had reached directly for his heart, finding a forever home. He thought about how Jaemin’s touch had made him feel the first time they had met: the electricity, the shortness of breath. All these things he never thought he would experience one day were now suddenly happening and it was a bit overwhelming to take it all at once. He wanted to feel close to Jaemin, hold his hand, kiss his lips.

He didn’t realise it, but Jeno had been thinking about Na Jaemin and he felt like a stalker. He had been sitting on one of the stool at his kitchen island for one hour now and he didn’t even notice it. He had finished eating long ago but his thoughts had automatically drifted to the boy he had just met, the boy who didn’t look as affected by this whole soulmate thing as he did. It’s only when he looked at his phone that he noticed he had a notification and it was now 5:23AM. He really did sit there for more than one hour, spacing out, his mind just filled with thoughts of Jaemin and him spending time together.

When he realised that it was a message from Jaemin, he tried to unlock his phone as quickly as he could, but his fingers were shaking in excitement and he couldn’t get it to work. He ended up having to wait 60 seconds before he could try again, giving him a bit of time to get a grip and when he finally did, he opened Jaemin’s message.

Na Jaemin: Good it’s a date then ;)

“A… Date?” Jeno said to himself. “Oh, I’m so screwed…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on twitter? maybe? no? okii :(( @leejenowo


	4. Great

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is for my best friend i didn't even re-read it because i just want him to read it as soon as possible

“Can you stop pacing around?” Renjun was currently rummaging through Jeno’s closet as he told the younger boy to stop walking in a circle in his room.

Jeno sighed in frustration. “I can’t! This is so… Ugh!” He finally fell down on his bed, centimeters away from Donghyuck’s smelly feet and instantly scooted away from the horrible stench. “Do you ever shower? You smell disgusting.”

Donghyuck just kept eating his bagel, leaving crumbs everywhere on Jeno’s bed, before answering nonchalantly. “Not this morning because Renjun and I were woken up by panic calls and at least 40 messages of you having a mental breakdown. We came here as quick as we could. See,” he waved his bagel around, leaving crumbs on top of Jeno’s bed cover, but probably under it too,” I didn’t even have time to eat this morning.” 

Jeno didn’t feel guilty at all about making them both come down at his house at such an early hour on a Saturday morning because he really needed the help. After receiving Jaemin’s message, Jeno indeed had a mental breakdown and he was shaking from head to toe just at the thought of going out on a date. But he had never been on a date, ever. The closest he ever was to a date was having lunch with a girl in grade 9. He knew Jaemin probably meant the date thing as a joke, so Jeno had only answered with ‘haha’ and some dumb looking emojis because he was too embarrassed to formulate any other kind of response and he would have probably sounded stupid. His ‘haha’ was already dumb enough and he didn’t want Jaemin to think weirdly of him, because Jeno was weird. He had automatically texted his two best friends on the group chat, at 4AM, to ask for their help. He was glad they had both answered they would be there at 10AM, on a Saturday, just to make him feel less nervous and help him prepare for that date that wasn’t really but was still a date for Jeno. Well, technically Donghyuck wasn’t really helping and Jeno did not want him to help because, God, his fashion sense was so bad sometimes. As much as Donghyuck tried to convince both Renjun and Jeno that his sequin tracksuit was a mistake, the two know that their friend secretly enjoyed wearing that for the sports rally at school. That’s why Renjun was the one looking through Jeno’s wardrobe to try and find something suitable for the date. Something that didn’t scream ‘I’m going on a date for the first time in my life’, but not something that made him look like he didn’t care about going out with Jaemin.

“Here,” Renjun was handing him a simple white t-shirt with some English gibberish he couldn’t read and a pair of washed out blue jeans. “Change into that.”

Jeno grabbed the hem of his night shirt, ready to pull it over his head but he was stopped in his movement by a gagging noise made by Donghyuck. 

“Can’t you see that I’m eating?’ His friend made a disgusted face at Jeno’s display of impudence. “I don’t want to see your ugly body this early in the morning…”

“So you would rather see it at night?” Jeno snickered at the sound his best friend made after his suggestion. 

They would always bicker together like kids but someone was always there to bring them back to order, most of the time it was Renjun.

And as if on cue, Renjun crossed his arms over his chest. “Enough! You,” he pointed to Jeno,” go change in the bathroom. I know you like to display your manliness or whatever you want to call it but poor Donghyuck probably can’t handle it so shoo!” He then turned to Donghyuck who was still on the bed, “You clean up your mess or I’m not doing your chinese homework for you!”

Jeno could hear Donghyuck whining about how he really needed help on his chinese homework, even as he made his way to the bathroom to get changed. Once done, he looked at himself in the mirror and realized Renjun had actually done a good job at coordinating his outfit. Satisfied, he left the bathroom to go back to his room and barely noticed that Donghyuck was gone. Renjun was sitting at his desk, waiting for him to return.

As soon as he saw him, Renjun got up and walked back to Jeno’s closet. “There’s something missing…”

Jeno was about to protest that, no everything looked fine according to him, but Renjun was quicker.

“Add this.” Renjun was handing him a bucket hat. An actual bucket hat. A bucket hat that Jeno did not buy and was probably left by Donghyuck once. Before he could protest against wearing that atrocity, Renjun was already adjusting it to the perfect angle on his head. It was too late.

“Oh, you found my bucket hat?” Donghyuck was back from god knows where. “I’ve been looking for this one everywhere! I didn’t know it was here.”

Jeno silently prayed that Donghyuck would want it back, but Renjun was already looking at the youngest with his adult eyes and Donghyuck just backed down mumbling something along the lines of ‘I don’t like this bucket hat anyway, you can keep it’. Renjun is scary when he does his adult eyes, something Jeno has yet to master. He knows it’s not actually an adult thing because Renjun barely just turned 18, he just likes calling it that because it feels the same as when his mom looks at him when he hasn’t done his chores or forgot to do his homework.

Jeno was now fully dressed in his casual attire plus a bucket hat and the nervousness was slowly crawling back and he could almost feel it in his bone. Jaemin and he weren’t even supposed to meet until 1PM and it was barely 11AM now, so Jeno still had a whole lot of time before he could see the brown haired boy again.

“Come here Jeno.” Renjun was motioning him closer and he was suddenly scared of what the slightly older boy was going to do. His apprehensions were dissolved when Renjun slowly embraced him in his arms in a comforting hug. They didn’t hug often, having established a clear line on where the skinship the three best friends allowed, but Renjun somehow always knew when Jeno needed to be close to someone, despite not being his soulmate. Jeno slowly wrapped his arms around the older’s waist and leaned in to press his forehead against his shoulder. Renjun was definitely not the most comfortable cuddle buddy, but his hug was still warm and comforting so they both stayed there, in the middle of the room, for as long as Jeno needed.

»»————-　　————-««

 

The meeting was in the same McDonald’s they had met just before the weekend. Jeno was nervous and excited, but also very late. It was already 50 minutes past noon and he needed at least 20 minutes to get to the restaurant, which means there was no doubt he would show up late at the meeting with Jaemin. Fate really wasn’t making things easy when it came to giving a good impression to your soulmate.

Jeno was rushing to get there as soon as he could because he really didn’t want Jaemin to wait for him or worse, think he had ditched him. He only had time to grab a jean jacket before he left and he couldn’t care less about any forgotten item like his keys. He would just crash at Dongyoung’s place if his friends were gone when he came back.

When he finally entered the fast food place, quickly preceded by the bell announcing a new customer, Jeno was breathless. Breathless because he had just walked a distance that would usually take 20 minutes in barely over 10, just so he could make it on time, but also because there was Jaemin. He was sitting in a booth, seemingly lost in his thoughts as he tapped away on his phone. He was wearing a white hoodie that contrasted so perfectly against his darker complexion, at least to Jeno.

The other guy finally looked up at him when he heard the sound of his footsteps coming closer to his table. He smiled at him and Jeno swears he actually felt the fluttering of butterflies in his stomach, the one people talk about when you’re in love. At this point, all Jeno could do was try to act normal, but he felt like he lost all his means when he was finally seated across Jaemin. It was so weird for him to feel like this because it wasn’t like they were sitting that close to each other; there was a table standing in the middle of them. But Jeno knew that if he just extended his legs a little he would be able to feel Jaemin’s against his. But he wouldn’t do it because that would be weird for the both of them, especially Jaemin.

They greeted each other in what was probably the weirdest and most awkward atmosphere Jeno had ever felt.

Jaemin finally spoke up after a moment. “So, how are you? Any better?”

“Yeah, I think…” As a matter of fact, Jeno was starting to feel that same feeling he had felt when he had woken up after fainting, early in the morning. It was that uncomfortable stir in his stomach again, but he once again just thought about how he didn’t eat anything all morning except the chicken Dongyoung had left him. So he quickly excused himself and got up to order something. 

Once at the counter, he ordered nuggets for himself and looked back over his shoulder while he waited to see what Jaemin was up to. The boy was playing on his phone again, but he looked up and smiled at Jeno as if he knew the latter was looking at him. Jeno turned around and blushed because, wow, Jaemin really was so beautiful when he smiled and he felt like they had just shared such an intimate moment, in the middle of a McDonald’s. When his number was called, he collected his tray and went back to sit across his so-called date.

“I hope you don’t mind me stealing some of your fries.” Jaemin was laughing. Just a small chuckle, but it was enough to make Jeno’s brain stop for at least 3 seconds before he answered Jaemin.

“Nah it’s good.” He tried to sound nonchalant even though he was about to pass out because Jaemin really was sitting in front of him.

“So Jeno,” Jaemin started, looking at him directly before looking down at the fries, trying to find the longest one so he could eat it first, “How old are you?”

“I’m turning 18 in some weeks…” Jeno sighed thinking about it. “What about you?”  
“I’m 17 and my birthday is in August.” Jaemin had found the longest one and he hummed. “So you’re graduating this year?”

Jeno nodded, “Yep… Finally! So you’re a junior? I’ve never seen you around at school, are you living close to here?”

“Ah!” The boy in front of him had suddenly exclaimed and Jeno was caught by surprise. “I’m actually a sophomore.” He could probably see the look of confusion on Jeno’s face because he went on. “I had to leave school mid-freshman year when my mom got remarried and we moved to Japan for 1 year before coming back here with my step brother and stepdad. I just moved close to your school, but I basically lost one year while I was there so here I am.”

That explained why he had never seen Jaemin around before now.

Jaemin’s phone suddenly buzzed on the table.

“Oh, just a sec!” Jeno didn’t mind Jaemin looking at his phone. After all, this wasn’t an actual date, just some casual meeting. “Hey, is it ok with you if someone joins us?”

‘No it’s not’ is what Jeno wanted to answer him, but he couldn’t. They weren’t dating, heck, they barely knew anything about each other. It’s not something Jeno could oppose in any way. So he simply nodded in agreement and they fell in a somewhat awkward silence.

A silence that wasn’t broken until a boy slightly older suddenly slid on the seat beside Jaemin and casually threw his arm around Jaemin’s shoulders. At that moment, Jeno could see that the boy sitting in front of him was now smiling brighter than when he had walked in and he couldn’t help but feel jealous at how Jaemin was smiling at the other boy and not at him.

The boy finally looked at him, smiling, before introducing himself. “Hey, I’m Mark, Jaemin’s soulmate.”

Great… Just. Great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow my twitter @leejenowo


	5. Swallow Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for updating this so late but ummm life wasn't on my side and I had some personal things to take care of. The next update might also be in a while since college will be over in 2 weeks and I'm rushing to finish everything on time. so please just bear with me T^T

To say Jeno wanted to disappear right then and there would be an understatement. He wanted the ground to swallow him or to combust on the spot. He had to try his best to not let anything show on his face despite his heart breaking. For a second, that’s all he could hear; his heart and how loud it sounded when it cracked.

Mark was there, smiling at Jaemin, arm around his shoulders, looking pretty damn cute. Jeno couldn’t lie to himself because Mark was indeed cute and he seemed to fit with Jaemin pretty well. The black haired boy wanted to hit himself in the face just for thinking about it. Maybe a punch on the nose would hurt less than watching the two boys who sat in front of him smiling at each other. He wanted to be the one holding Jaemin close to him, the one touching him. If he was holding him like Mark was currently doing, he would bury his face in Jaemin’s fluffy hair and inhale. It was such a weird thought, but Jeno was sure Jaemin smelled of spice. Jeno loved spicy things so he just imagined Jaemin would smell like something he liked.

“Ya!” Jeno’s daydream was cut short by Jaemin’s exclamation. He realized he had been looking at Mark the whole time, but he wasn’t really seeing him. When he snapped back to reality, he saw Jaemin punch Mark in the shoulder. The hit was enough for Mark to unglue himself from Jaemin’s side, rubbing his sore arm with a look of offense on his face.

“What was that for, Na Jaemin?” Mark was now fake crying and Jeno wanted to take back what he said about him being cute. His fake crying looked worse than Donghyuck when he wanted Jeno or Renjun to buy him something. “It hurts!”

Jaemin pretended to hit him again before settling back in his seat. “Stop telling everyone you’re my soulmate, it’s getting old. I know you’re not happy that your soulmate is your brother, but you know that I don’t have one.” He turned to look at Jeno with an apologetic look and he smiled at him. “Sorry about that… I kinda knew it would happen…”

The moment Jaemin smiled at him, he was automatically forgiven in Jeno’s heart. So Mark isn’t Jaemin’s soulmate… Still, something didn’t seem right.

“What do you mean, you don’t have a soulmate?” Jeno was curious because how could that even be possible? Especially since he was like 90% sure that what he was feeling in Jaemin’s presence was what Dongyoung had described to him.

“I was born without a maze. Completely naked!” Jaemin gestured at his body and Jeno almost asked him to stop because he was now trying to imagine Jaemin without his clothes at the mention of nakedness. It was weird and Jeno would prefer not having these kind of thoughts, but he somehow couldn’t help it because 1) he’s a teenager and he doesn’t control his hormones and 2) this weird soulmate thing makes it hard for him to think about anything that isn’t Jaemin.

Mark suddenly whined beside him and shifted in his seat like a kid about to throw a tantrum. “Stop telling people my soulmate is my brother! It really makes me feel like a loser. And when he’s with your brother it’s just...” Mark shivered in disgust. “It’s just ugh.”

Jaemin made a disgusted face. “Ew don’t talk about Yuta and Yoonoh together. I’m not linked to either of them, but I can feel them when they’re together and it’s just...” He couldn’t put words on how weird seeing the two of them together was. “Ugh. Like you said.”

“So Yoonoh is your brother?” Jeno’s question was for Mark and he got a nod as an answer. “Is that how you two know each other?”

They looked at each other and laughed awkwardly, as if remembering some incredibly disturbing memory they both shared. Jaemin was the first to speak up about it.

“Yeah… Yuta dragged Yoonoh home one day and Mark unfortunately had to follow. We hid in my room while they did the - well you know - and Mark was whining the whole time, asking me to hit him on the head so he could pass out.”

Mark cringed at the memory and shook his head. “I hate that day so much.” He looked at Jeno. “You know what I mean, right?”

No, Jeno didn’t. “I actually haven’t found my soulmate yet.” He rolled his jacket sleeve to reveal his forearm, where the little maze he had gotten at birth was imprinted. There was only an entrance, but no exit.

“But…” Jaemin was looking at him in disbelief. “You’re almost 18...”

It came out as a whisper from Jaemin’s lips and Jeno knew that tone too well. It was the one his parents used when they would tell him he was going to find his soulmate soon. It was the one Renjun and Donghyuck used when he was calling them at impossible hours of the night, crying because he had a nightmare and he thought he was going to die. The same tone Jungwoo used when he smiled at him before telling him that there was nothing to be scared of. It was a tone of pity and that’s exactly how it made Jeno feel; pitiful. And Mark just added to it.

“It’s ok… You still have time I guess.” Mark shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

No, Jeno really did not have any time left and on top of that he now has a broken heart because Jaemin apparently wasn’t his soulmate. Jaemin’s words kept repeating in his head and he was starting to get dizzy. He couldn’t stay seated anymore and he had to excuse himself.

It was a cowardly move. There wasn’t really anything to run away from, but Jeno still did because it seemed like the only rational thing to do at the moment. He hid in the bathroom. The actual disgustingly over perfumed McDonald’s bathroom, just so he could get away from both Jaemin and Mark’s looks of pity. He might have cried if he had stayed around and Jeno just doesn’t cry in front of people, ever. He had to get out of here.

He quickly took his phone out of his pocket to call Jungwoo because he knew Dongyoung was at work. His friend picked up on the second ring.

“Jeno? Are you with Donghyuck and Renjun?” He sighed before he could get an answer. “If you ask me to take you to McDonald’s again I swear I’m making you pay for my gas.”

“J-Jungwoo…” Jeno’s voice was shaky when he talked in his phone and Jungwoo knew something was up.

“Are you okay? What’s going on?” Jungwoo was worried and he didn’t want him to worry. He just wanted someone to pick him up so he could go back home and then… He didn’t know yet, but he just wanted to go back home, far from Jaemin and the sound of his heart breaking.

“Can you pick me up? I’m already at McDonald’s…” Jeno’s voice was barely louder than a whisper, but he knew Jungwoo understood when he heard him hum in agreement and say that he would be there in less than 10 minutes. He then hung up and looked at himself in the mirror.

He was pale and only now did he realize that the feeling of hunger he had felt earlier was still there, tugging at his insides like claws. He felt like he needed to sit somewhere but he was in the middle of a dirty bathroom and there was no way he was going to have the flu and some other unknown disease he could get from sitting on a disgusting floor. He had to think about an excuse to leave Jaemin and Mark here while he went back home to curl up in a ball on his bed. He wanted to cool his face with water, but that would mean touching the sink and that was just a no.

He left the bathroom, still a bit shaky on his legs. He could see the top of Mark and Jaemin’s heads and he could hear them laughing. That sound just made his heart break a little bit more because, even though the two boys were not soulmates, they were still close and Jeno felt like he didn’t have a place in Jaemin’s life.

He almost felt bad about interrupting them in the middle of their conversation when he came back to the table. “Guys…” He had to think about something quick. Nada. Absolutely nothing came to him. He can’t lie anyways, so telling the truth would just be the best thing to do. “I think I’ll have to go back home because I don’t feel well.”

“Are you ok?” Mark asked him and Jeno wanted to answer him ‘no, I just told you I’m not’ but he didn’t because Jaemin was there and Jeno isn’t an asshole.

“Do you need a lift home? Mark came with his car.” Jaemin looked concerned for him, but Jeno couldn’t tell if it was something genuine or not. He didn’t care. He wanted to get out and be home, call Renjun or maybe even Dongyoung, and rant. And then cry. And then sleep. In that order. So he refused the offer.

“No, it’s okay. I already called my friend over to come pick me up.” Jungwoo was actually a good excuse to not get a lift from Mark. “He’ll be here soon.”

»»————-　　————-««

Luckily for Jeno, Jungwoo came in just minutes after that, saving him from the awkward silence coming from Jaemin and Mark and the loud pounding in his head. In the car, he sat in more silence, Jungwoo not daring to ask him what happened with the two boys he had seen with him. Jeno was glad that his friend had agreed to come get him without asking any question because he wasn’t even sure if he could answer something that would make sense. He wanted to say he was heartbroken, but was he really? It’s not like Mark and Jaemin were dating. And it’s not like Jaemin and him were dating either, they literally had just met a couple of days ago! Jeno’s head suddenly bumped against the window, bringing him to the reality of the car and Jungwoo sitting beside him. His friend mumbled a little ‘sorry about that’ after hitting the side of the curb (Jungwoo isn’t really a good driver). He could always ask him about it.

“Jungwoo?” Jeno’s voice was quiet, but his friend hummed to notify him that he had heard. “Why am I so jealous of Mark? Jaemin and him are not dating…”

“Ah!” Jungwoo took his eyes off the road for 2 seconds so he could look at Jeno, but the younger boy was not looking at him. Dongyoung had told him about Jaemin and Yuta’s visit, but he had also told him about the discussion and the questions Jeno had asked about soulmates. It wasn’t hard to do add it up. “Jaemin is your soulmate.”

Jeno could barely nod before another wave of nausea hit him at the thought of Jaemin not knowing he has a soulmate.

“It’s normal, Jeno. I remember I was really jealous of one of Dongyoung’s soccer teammate. His name was Johnny and he was a senior. He was tall, from America, and really good at soccer. But he was just a teammate. Nothing more.” The boy with grey hair smiled fondly at the memory, but Jeno didn’t understand where he was going.

“I just told Dongyoung about my worries and he reassured me that Johnny was too loud for him anyway. Everything was good after that. So you should just tell that Jaemin boy about it. He’ll understand, soulmates always do.” Jungwoo was parked in Dongyoungs driveway, waiting for the Jeno to leave the car and cross the lawn to his house. “Is your mom home yet? You can stay with me if you want.”

“No thanks, Jungwoo.” Jeno didn’t want to stay with Jungwoo because he kind of wanted to be alone right now. He had been thinking about curling up in a ball on his bed for the whole ride and it seemed like the best option at the moment. They both left the car and Jeno started making his way across Dongyoung’s lawn to get to his front door before he turned back to look at Jungwoo.

“Jaemin doesn’t have a soulmate, anyway.”

»»————-　　————-««

Jeno had left Jungwoo standing outside and had not looked back. He was hurt by his own words and saying it out loud was just making everything worse. He made his way to his room and was surprised to find Donghyuck and Renjun still in his room, doing homework. They were both on the floor, Renjun sitting cross legged and Donghyuck was on his stomach, his face hidden behind a book. He was trying to read the sentence, but Renjun was correcting him every 2 words because his pronunciation was bad. They were being loud and Jeno didn’t like it at all. He thought he would be coming home to an empty room and some peace and quiet. This was not what he wanted. And when Jeno didn’t like something he made sure his friends knew about it. Yes, Jeno was petty like that.

“Leave!” He told them and they both looked at him as he fell on his bed and buried his face in his pillow.

Donghyuck snickered at his order. “You know we’re not going to leave if you act like that.”

“Hyuck!” Renjun chastised their younger friend and looked at him with his ‘adult eyes’. He got up from where he had been sitting on the floor to join Jeno on his bed. Instantly, Jeno felt relieved when his friend started rubbing small circles on his back. He had told them to leave, but he really just wanted them to notice how bad he was feeling. He wanted their attention on him and not some Chinese homework. He wanted to be the center of attention for once. He still wanted to cry his eyes out, loud enough so he wouldn’t hear the sound of his heart breaking, but he wasn’t alone. He didn’t want them to see him cry.

“Come here…” Both boys scooted closer to each other and Renjun laid down on Jeno’s bed. The younger boy felt embarrassed that his friends had to see him like this, but what are friends for if it’s not to comfort each other? He hid his face in Renjun’s neck and sighed because he was really tired at this point and holding back the tears was just useless. So he cried while holding on to Renjun’s shirt until he felt his bed dip on the other side. Now, Donghyuck was also by his side, slowly brushing through his black hair.

It was nice.

But it wasn’t Jaemin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/taehasus?lang=en) or send me a question on [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/taehasus)


	6. Teams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a look at the tags if you didn't notice already.. some things have been... changed... and im sorry in advance about it. This story is almost over (1 or 2 chapters left depending on how much i write in the next one) and please don't hate me for the ending

Jeno ended up falling asleep on Renjun’s chest, helped by the low vibrations of his chest and Donghyuck’s heat. He felt safe and loved and, for a moment, he forgot about how much he wished he was with Jaemin instead of his best friend. He never found the courage to speak about what had happened in the restaurant, his sobs making it almost impossible for him to form coherent sentences. Instead, he had simply laid there, sandwiched between Renjun and Donghyuck, and he had let himself go for once.

He was only awakened when Renjun started shifting under him, probably because he needed to get up. It took him a couple of seconds to realize that Donghyuck wasn’t pressed against his back anymore and that Renjun was slowly detaching his arms from his waist. He almost whined at the loss of contact, but he didn’t because that would have been embarrassing. When Renjun finally managed to free himself from Jeno’s grip (he hugs people in his sleep), he fell off the bed because apparently, they had migrated from the middle right to the edge of the mattress. That sound was enough to fully wake Jeno up and he leaned over on his bed, looking at Renjun’s small body rolling around on the ground as he cursed in Chinese.

“Are you okay Jun?” Jeno asked his friend to make sure he wasn’t hurt, but he really just wanted to laugh at his misfortune. He was the one to wake him up after all, so he kind of deserved it.

Renjun only groaned as an answer before finally sitting up and looking at his friend.”I have to go back home. My mom is asking me to come back for dinner.”

Jeno nodded in understanding. “Okay. When did Hyuck leave?” Looking out the window, Jeno realized it was already dark outside so it made sense that Renjun had to go back home.

“Maybe an hour ago?” It came out as a question but after looking at his phone, he nodded because it had indeed been an hour since he had left. “His mom also called him so yeah…”

Renjun was busying himself by cleaning up his books that he had left on the floor when he joined Jeno on the bed. Once he was done, Jeno escorted him back to the front door as a habit. He knew Renjun knew how to get out of the house (Donghyuck and he were always crashing at his house), but he still went with him because he’s a good person, or at least he tries to convince himself that he is. He said goodbye to his friend, Renjun telling him to call Dongyoung or Jungwoo if anything happened again and the Chinese boy finally left. Jeno now had to eat too because the only thing he had all day was the nuggets from earlier, but he had left them on the table in the Mcdonald’s, unfinished. His mom still wasn’t back, but Jeno wasn’t worried about that. She was barely ever at home as she was constantly traveling for work, sleeping in hotels instead of her own bed. He never really spent much time with her, mostly hanging out with Dongyoung’s family when she would leave for extended periods of time. She didn’t leave him alone at home when he was a kid, at least. He knows she still worries about him, regularly texting him and, occasionally texting Dongyoung when he doesn’t answer her quick enough. But still, it felt fake. If she really was worried about him, she would come home.

His father was also rarely at home. He was a serious man who valued work a lot and stayed late almost every day, sometimes sleeping at one of the empty dorm room at the university he worked at. He would sometimes come home on the weekends, but when Jeno’s mom wasn’t there, his father was also mostly absent, taking advantage of the fact that his wife isn’t there to get more work done.

Jeno can’t lie: he used to enjoy that freedom in his early teenage years. But now he was a senior, almost 18 (in less than 2 weeks now and he really wasn’t waiting for it), soulmate-less and maybe, possibly, dying. He wishes his parents were there to tell him everything was going to be ok, even though it probably wouldn’t be. If he did live pass 18, which university would he go to? Maybe Yonsei University because that’s where his father works? Or SNU because that’s where his mom studied? Should he go to the same one as Dongyoung so he could make sure he knew at least one person? Choosing a place to study should be easy, Renjun and Donghyuck already knew where they would go, but Jeno had no idea. There was no one to guide him and it was just stressing Jeno. And when Jeno was stressed, he would eat.  
So he made himself ramen (probably the only thing he can make by himself without burning the house down like Donghyuck would). And he ate alone. Like he almost always does.

»»————-　　————-««

 

It was only a week later that he felt sick again. 

He was out on the field with the soccer team, 15 minutes before practice, when their coach came to them. Turns out they didn’t have the field for themselves today because the schedules got messed up. A few of the players groaned because they had an important match coming up and they didn’t want anyone to distract them. And honestly, anything distracted them. He could hear his teammates whispering and he managed to catch a bit of conversation between two of them.

“It’s the senior track team, they’re recruiting for next year,” his teammate, Hyunjin, snorted at the thought of juniors and sophomores running around the field, hoping to get a spot on the track team. Renjun had mentioned something about that to him briefly the week before, but Jeno wasn’t paying attention because he was going on a ‘date’ with Jaemin and was just too stressed to process anything. But now he remembered Renjun telling him he would be doing tryouts for the next senior team and complaining about how so many sophomores had given their names despite not getting any guarantee of making it on the team. Renjun was excited at the fact that so many people, especially younger students, wanted to join the team, but only juniors would be getting a permanent place on the team. Sophomores were usually just chosen as backups if something happened to one of the team members.

His other teammate, Kijung, toppled over laughing at the thought of other juniors running. He was a junior himself, and the newest addition to the team as of last fall, but he was a good player and he was tall. It was good to scare the other team too. When his laughter finally died down, he managed to form a coherent sentence that caught Jeno’s attention.

“I heard the new junior who arrived not long ago used to be on a track team in middle school. He’ll probably try out for the senior team.”

‘The new junior’? Kijung was probably talking about Jaemin (because who else suddenly starts school when there’s less than half the year to go?). So Jaemin would be there… Jeno could already feel his heart beating in his throat. Just the thought of Jaemin being there, being able to see him, was enough to make Jeno nervous and unfocused. He couldn’t really afford to be distracted, though, considering the big final match they had next Sunday. He wanted to win that match so bad as it was just one day before his birthday and being the 2018 champions would be one hell of a birthday gift. 

The track kids suddenly came out on the field, being as loud as they possibly could. Jeno and his team’s complaints were a bit hypocritical because the soccer team was just a bunch of loud guys too, but they weren’t kids. Jeno never had any interest in the track team, even when Renjun complained to him about how their coach never actually showed up to any practice and he had to do all the work as the captain of the team. Jeno just hoped his friend wouldn’t be too hard on Jaemin because Jaemin was new and he probably just wanted to fit in and make new friends and wow, Jeno was feeling soft. 

He finally saw Jaemin coming out and Jeno’s breath was cut short. The boy literally looked like he was coming back from shooting a sportswear commercial. He suddenly ruffled his hair and Jeno swears his heart shook at the same time. Jaemin was doing something to him and he couldn’t explain it. 

Kijung suddenly exclaimed behind him. “It’s him! So he really is trying out... Won’t it be weird for him to try out with people younger than him? I heard he had to retake a year.”

Hyunjin snickered beside him. “Is he that dumb?”

Jeno wanted to turn around and hit both them upside the head, but their coach whistled, signaling the start of the practice. Jeno got into place at the center and immediately passed the ball to whoever was on his right. He didn’t look because his gaze was still on Jaemin who was now laughing with another attractive boy and really he just seemed to attract every good looking boy on earth for some reason. Jeno had seen him hang around Donghyuck before because he was also in the drama club and he could vaguely remember his name being something like Jinyoung.

His coach suddenly yelled his name, forcing him to turn his head away from the running track and back to the field so he could focus on the practice going on. He wanted to look back to see if Jaemin was still sitting on the floor waiting for Renjun’s instructions, but he had to watch the game intently because Hyunjin was coming towards him at full speed and he was about to pass the ball to him. It was only 25 minutes later that Jeno could finally sit down and gulp down half of his water bottle. He had another 30 minutes before the next rotation and he thought it would be a good idea to go check on Renjun and Jaemin. So he got up and made his way to the edge of the grass where the track started its loop around the soccer field. He wasn’t really required to stay and watch the next batch of boys practice anyway. 

When he arrived, Renjun was sitting down, munching on something that looked like a protein bar, but Jeno couldn’t be sure. Some other guys were sitting down everywhere, scattered around the whole track, probably because they were too exhausted to come back to the starting point. Jaemin was on the opposite side, running side by side with that Junyoung - or Jinhyun or Jinyoung - keeping up a nice speed. It was impressive to Jeno because, honestly, most of his team would never be able to run for that long. Jeno could use a runner like Jaemin on his team.

He put his hands on Renjun’s shoulder, startling him in the process. “If you don’t take him, I’ll recommend him for the soccer tryouts next year.”

“Jeno, you scared the shit out of me!” Renjun whined out, his hand on his heart as if to calm his heartbeat. “Who are you even talking about?”

“Him.” He pointed at Jaemin who was still running steadily towards the start of the track, towards him. 

Renjun sputtered out, choking on the bite he had just taken. “Are you crazy?! He’s the best runner I’ve seen since I joined. He might just be better than me. He’s definitely on the team.”

Better than Renjun? Jaemin really could do everything… His friend suddenly clapped his hands and called everyone back with his, surprisingly, loud voice. He told everyone to take a seat around him and Jeno still had 20 minutes left so he stayed for the announcement (because he was a bit sadistic and he thought it was funny to see sophomores get rejected, but mostly because he wanted to see Jaemin’s reaction.)

Renjun looked like a real leader, standing in the middle of so many younger kids. He started off by thanking everyone for coming and then moved on to announce that Jaemin and Jinyoung - so that was his name - along with 4 other juniors and 2 sophomores were selected for next year’s team. The rest were dismissed so Renjun could explain to the chosen members what would happen now. Jaemin was beaming - like probably brighter than the sun - and Jeno was captivated by his smile, smiling to himself just thinking about how happy Jaemin must feel to be back on a track team. His smile faded just as quickly as it had appeared when his crush, the love of his life, his soulmate, jumped up and hugged Jinyoung. 

And there was the feeling of sickness again. The dizziness hit him at once and he had to steady himself on Renjun’s shoulder. The older looked at him, worried.

“Are you okay, Jeno?” He was feeling around his face and his forehead to check if he had a fever. “You’re really pale right now…”

Jeno nodded, not wanting his best friend to worry. “Yeah, I just feel a bit dizzy. I must be dehydrated. I should go back the coach will call for us soon.”

Jeno was already on his way back to the soccer field when Renjun screamed at him to drink water. He didn’t turn back and so he didn’t notice the lingering look Jaemin was giving him.

»»————-　　————-««

He had been playing for 20 minutes when his body finally gave up on him. He had been put in the defense and he hadn’t really been doing anything, the ball being passed between his teammates on the opposite side of the field. He basically had not moved from his spot, or barely when he thought the ball was coming towards him, but it was always taken back by one teammate or the other. So yeah he had made no move, yet he was sweating profusely, his shirt soaked. It wasn’t really hot outside so there wasn’t really any explanation as to why Jeno was sweating so much. He really felt awful and honestly, he wanted to lay down in the middle of the field and not move anymore. But he couldn’t really do that in the middle of a game practice. Furthermore, he knew Renjun was now sitting on the side of the field, looking intensely at him like he always did after the track practice was over. But this time, Renjun was with Jaemin, both watching him. He had never felt nervous about his best friend watching him, but with Jaemin, it was different. He felt dizzy again, nauseous and he just couldn’t wait for the practice to be over. He was tired of it already - this feeling. Jaemin made him so nervous it was like his whole body was failing him.

And today was no exception and before he knew it, his knees had hit the ground, his body following closely. And it was only darkness after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/taehasus?lang=en) or send me a question on [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/hyodream)


	7. Every story has an end (and this is just part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy here come the eggs! Don't throw them too hard at me I'm weak uwu. For real though, I know it took me a lot of time to write this and I ended up cutting the chapter in half because I realized I was writing a lot more and it seemed fitted that I would cut it there. This means that there's another chapter coming soon and then an epilogue. Pleasssssse don't hate me!

Jeno woke up to the steady beeping of a heart monitor and the strong smell of antiseptic. He was in the hospital and he couldn’t really remember how or even why he had ended up in this uncomfortable bed, with an IV drip on his hand. It was itchy and he definitely felt like he was minus 30 percent comfortable at the moment, but it also felt necessary. He knew he had fainted while practicing, but he didn’t know how this had happened. Usually, when someone fainted, the students would usually go to the nurse and she would call their parents. So he was just confused about why he was in the hospital. He thought he was just dehydrated. 

When he opened his eyes, he was instantly blinded by the cold light of the small room he was in and it made him groan because he apparently had a really bad headache. It was there, pressing behind his eyes and against his temples.

Someone shifted beside his bed and moved his fringe away from his eyes. “Are you awake Jeno?”

It was Donghyuck. “Hyuck… What am I doing here? What are you doing here?”

“Do you not want me here?” He asked in a fake offended tone.

Jeno sighed, “No loser. Just tell me why I’m in the hospital and note the nurse office at school.”

“I’m as lost as you are! Renjun called me in panic after you passed out on the field and I had to leave the drama club - in the middle of the rehearsal - and asked me to go to the nurse office. So I did and when I got there everyone, not just Renjun was panicking. Like total chaos! Renjun was about to have an anxiety attack or something. He thought you were going to die!” Donghyuck was explaining the story of how he had ended up in here with big hands movements and he was probably being too much, but Jeno appreciated his storytelling. If he had asked Renjun, the poor guy would have probably gotten a panic attack just remembering it.

“And then?” Jeno urged Donghyuck to continue.

“Ok, so there was Renjun and another guy there right? Jumin or something…”

Jeno corrected him quickly.  
Donghyuck’s face lit up in realization. “HE’S JAEMIN?! He’s so cute, Jeno! Oh my god!” He was screaming at him in an enthusiastic voice and it was way too loud for his poor brain.

“Can you turn it down a bit? You’re being way too loud.” Jeno was holding his head with his hand - the one that didn’t have the IV drip on - and closed his eyes because Donghyuck was too much at the moment and maybe if he shut his eyes tight enough, he could make the boy disappear.

Donghyuck huffed out a sorry before smiling at him sheepishly. “Back to the story. So Renjun and Jaemin-” he emphasized on Jaemin’s name, “- were both there and they like… I don’t know? Jaemin said something about your maze and the nurse started freaking out which made Renjun freak out? I don’t know what happened but the nurse freaked out enough to call the ambulance and I swear Jun was about to pass out when she said you had to go to the hospital.”

Where was he anyway? As if reading his mind, Donghyuck told him that Renjun would be back shortly as he had texted him that he was awake - when? Jeno didn’t know, but it had been done - and the oldest would bring back food from the cafeteria. Donghyuck also told him that he had contacted Dongyoung and that he would come visit him with Jungwoo. At that, Jeno almost hit him upside the head because if he thought Renjun was exaggerating, he had yet to see a worried Dongyoung.

Renjun soon came in with a tray of horrible cafeteria food - ‘For Jeno!’ he had said excitedly - and vending machine snacks for him and Donghyuck. He looked calmer and composed, the opposite of what Donghyuck had described to him. 20 minutes later, Dongyoung was almost breaking the door open, screaming about what happened. Jungwoo walked in behind him, trying to calm him down, but to no avail. Dongyoung wasn't listening to him and he walked straight to his bed, immediately taking his hand in his.

“What happened to you? What did you do? Are you hurt?” Dongyoung was asking him so many questions it made him dizzy. He acted like a mother, more than his own ever did and it made Jeno’s heart hurt a bit. He wasn’t even sure if his parents knew he was in the hospital right now. Surely, Dongyoung had contacted at least his mother and she was informed of the situation. At least he hoped so.

“I was just dehydrated… Nothing big…”

“That is not what Renjun told me! He said you passed out and the nurse felt the need to send you here so don’t bullshit me right now. It’s the second time you’ve passed out in like 2 weeks. What if you’re sick?” Jeno knew Dongyoung was worried, but he didn’t think he felt like that. Jeno wasn’t dying. He was just exhausted or something. The doctor would be there soon to tell him what was wrong.

And sure enough, the doctor came in just a couple of minutes later, asking everyone who wasn’t family to leave the room. No one was family, but a little lie wouldn’t hurt anyone, Dongyoung thought. So the oldest raised his hand, announcing himself as Jeno’s brother and the doctor asked Renjun and Donghyuck to leave. Jungwoo stayed in the room, sitting beside Dongyoung on a chair he had brought to the side of the hospital bed. Jeno had seen this in dramas and TV shows before. This was usually the time where the doctor told the patient what he had and the treatments possible and all that medical lingo he probably wouldn’t understand.

And the doctor started, “As you know, Jeno is about to turn 18 next week. Usually, everything would be fine, but it seems like something did not go as it was supposed to. Jeno has met his soulmate, but the person he met is not actually his. It appears the relationship is one-sided and his soulmate doesn’t have one. His maze is incomplete. If he had not met the person who was supposed to complete him, he would be fine. Unfortunately, Jeno’s body can’t take function by itself. It’s like its waiting to get the response from his soulmate’s body, but it will never happen. Therefore, Jeno’s body will just fail and he’ll-”

Jeno’s mind went blank at that moment. He didn’t want to register what the doctor said to him, to them after that. He had hoped that he would use a vocabulary unknown to him, full of complex terms he wouldn’t understand. But no, the man had chosen simple words, words that Jeno and Dongyoung and Jungwoo understood all too well. He didn’t really notice it when Dongyoung’s head fell on his hand, tears dropping faster than his IV. He also didn’t hear Jungwoo when he asked ‘how long?’ or the doctor’s answer. His only thoughts were about Jaemin. He had to tell him somehow. He had to know.

»»————-　　————-««

“No. You’re not going to tell him! He’s the reason why you’re in this bed in the first place.” Dongyoung had overcome the initial shock and he was now mad - at who? Jaemin, Faith, the whole world… Jeno had asked for his phone so he could text Jaemin and tell him to come over. He had yet to explain to him why he had fainted and he felt like he deserved to know. But Dongyoung would not let him. He understood the oldest in a way. He probably felt it was unfair that the person he considered his brother had to go through this because of someone who would never be able to understand.

“Dongyoung, I need to tell him… I have to.” 

“Jeno…” Dongyoung sighed. They were alone in the room now because Jungwoo had left to find Donghyuck and Renjun. Jeno was barely wrapping his head around the situation and now he would have to explain something he didn’t really understand himself to his best friends. Dongyoung repeated his name again, this time in a whisper. “Jeno… I’m scared…”

As if Jeno wasn’t. “I’m scared too. Dongyoung… The doctor just said I’m going to die! Once I tell Renjun and Donghyuck… They’ll freak out and it will make me freak out! I don’t know why I’m not freaking out yet because the doctor just dropped a bomb on me and seriously, who wouldn’t freak out. I’m not even 18 yet and I’m going to die! Dongyoung, I’m dying!” Jeno took a deep breath. “I’m freaking out. I’m definitely freaking out. Dongyoung. I’m going to die.”

Jeno had not cried yet - even knowing he was going to die didn’t want to cry in front of people - but saying it out loud made him realize how real it was. And he was pretty much doing everything a person freaking out would do: crying, shaking, hiccuping. And it’s at that moment that Jungwoo came back with his best friends following after him.

Instantly, Renjun seemed to enter in a state of panic when he noticed the state Jeno was in.

“Jungwoo can you take him outside for a while, try to calm him down. We’ll talk with Hyuck first…” And so Renjun was taken out of the room, led by Jungwoo after Dongyoung had asked him to give Jeno some space. He then proceeded to try to calm Jeno down more before he started hyperventilating. So Dongyoung brushed some hair away from his face and hushed him, whispering calming words in his ear although he was freaking out himself.

“Is Jeno going to be ok?” Donghyuck asked tentatively once Jeno wasn’t crying anymore. 

“H-hyuck,” Jeno was stuttering, but he had to say it. “I’m going to die.” He gulped, hard. “In a couple of days, I won’t be here anymore.”

Donghyuck, poor Donghyuck who was usually so happy and smiling and everything good in the world, was now reaching for a chair to sit on, appalled by the news he had just received. If it was in other circumstances, say... NOT in a hospital, with his best friend balling his eyes out and his other friend looking almost ridiculously sad, he would have thought they were pulling a prank on him as a payback for all he’s done. But they were in a hospital with Jeno on the verge of another panic attack and Dongyoung looking like he wanted to be in his place on the bed.

“Renjun…” Jeno knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t say it either. “Renjun he’s going to… He’s going to…” Donghyuck’s throat felt dry and tight, and he was definitely freaking out on the inside.

They suddenly heard a loud crashing sound coming from outside the room, quickly followed by Renjun’s voice.

“Jungwoo let me go! I need to go in. Hyuck he’s-” He was suddenly in Jeno’s room, Jungwoo had obviously let him go. He could feel his soulmate’s distress and it was making him even more anxious than he already was. He rushed to the youngest, engulfing him in a tight hold from behind, arms around his neck. Jeno had once heard Dongyoung say that it helped soulmates calm down and he felt selfish for wishing Jaemin was there to hold him like that too. Jeno wasted no time telling his friend what was happening and he saw the boy’s knees wobble, but he didn’t fall. He leaned into Donghyuck, burying his face in his neck before anyone could see his tears start falling.

Everyone in the room was broken, but none of them more than Jeno.

»»————-　　————-««

Jeno was only allowed to text Jaemin the after telling everyone else. He had changed into the horrible hospital clothes that Jungwoo had brought him and, despite looking way too plain, he was glad to finally be getting rid of the soccer jersey that he had been wearing since he had fainted. Dongyoung had spent the night at Jeno’s bedside, afraid that he would suddenly be gone. Jungwoo had forced him to go back home so he could sleep properly and he had taken his spot beside the bed. Renjun and Donghyuck had to go to school, although reluctantly, and he knew they wouldn’t be listening to anything during the classes they had today. He had then texted Jaemin, telling him to meet him up at the hospital after his classes, even though he knew Renjun and Donghyuck would be there (and probably Dongyoung too, despite Jungwoo telling him to stay home). He didn’t want Dongyoung and Jaemin in the same room because he knew his friend blamed Jaemin for something he had no control over. But Fate really wasn’t on his side and what happened was even messier than what he thought.

»»————-　　————-««

“Dongyoung! What the hell?!” A bunch of exclamations suddenly rose up from everyone in the room and the principal suspect suddenly realized what had just happened.

“Fuc-Fudge…” Jungwoo was behind him, holding his arms behind his back to make sure the oldest wouldn’t lash out again.

Jeno looked at the whole scene from his bed, shocked at what Dongyoung had just done. The first words he managed to say barely made it past his throat because he literally felt like he was about to throw up from all the blood he saw. “You just… You just punched Jaemin… In the face… Oh my god…” He gulped loudly after that, looking around his bed. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

Renjun rushed to his side with the bowl the nurse had left earlier this morning when she came to check in and draw his blood. Jeno really didn’t like blood and the sight of it, mixed with the cocktail of meds he had to take, just didn’t help and so he ended up with his face in the bowl, vomiting. When he looked back up, he noticed blood in what little food he had eaten since the morning and he would have thrown up again if it wasn’t for the anxious feeling in his stomach. Because 1) you’re not supposed to throw up blood and 2) Jaemin is literally standing in his room with a bloody nose after getting punched by Dongyoung. But most of all, he had to explain to Jaemin now that he was here and that was the most difficult part of it all.

Jeno still had the bowl in his hands and he honestly didn’t know what he should be doing with it so he handed it back to Renjun, a guilty look on his face (because no one really wants to clean up someone else’s vomit). In the end, Dongyoung was dragged out of the room by Jungwoo so he could get his hand checked because he “swear it’s broken or something” and his best friends also left pretexting they had homework to do (which they definitely did not, but Jeno didn’t need to know that), leaving him alone in the room with Jaemin and Mark. Yes, Mark. The same Mark who probably noticed how uneasy Jeno was with the blood on Jaemin’s face because he fetched for his keys in his pocket and threw them at his friend.

“Go change, I have spare clothes in my car. And get your nose checked out just in case.”

Jaemin just nodded, stunned by the fact that a grown man had just punched him in the face, before turning and leaving. Mark used the occasion to sit on one of the now multiple chairs - a lot of people had sat by Jeno’s bed in the last couple of hours - and coughed awkwardly. Because how could it not be awkward.

“Jaemin likes you.” Mark stated at the same time as Jeno blurted out “I’m dying.”

They both looked at each other, not sure if they heard quickly what the other had said.

“You’re what? Jeno what the hell man…” Mark had said the last sentence in English without realizing. But Jeno understood and he would also be confused if someone just randomly blurted out something like that on their deathbed. So he took it upon himself to explain to Mark out of all people what was happening. When he was done, Mark just sat there in silence, trying to process everything.

“So…” The older boy started, looking at him hesitantly as if he was still trying to grasp the story Jeno had just told him. “This is because of Jaemin?”

“What’s because of me?” Jaemin scared both of them as he entered the room, leaving no time for Jeno to answer Mark. Jaemin noticed the looks on their faces. “What’s with the long faces guys? I know Jeno is in the hospital, but he’ll be out soon. We can go to McDonald’s again after that.”

It came out like a question, although he didn’t mean it, and both boys looked away, guilty of something they had no control over. Jeno shifted in the bed, careful of the IV drip stuck to his arm.

“I’ll leave you to talk…” Mark was already up before Jaemin had time to sit. “I’ll see you later Jeno, hopefully.”

When he was out of the room, the door closed behind him, Jaemin let out a sigh and sat on the chair Mark had just left vacant. 

“Tell me the truth, Jeno… When are you going to die?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/taehasus?lang=fr) and send me hate on [Curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/hyodream) oof


	8. Every story has an end (and this might be it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ummmm uwu this is the last chapter before the epilogue did i cry multiple time writing this? yes. Also, for your information, the yuwin fic won the twitter poll so I will be working on it from now on (and the epilogue for Maze), but I won't be posting any chapters until I'm done writing it there's still some things i need to figure out with it.  
> Enjoy your reading!

Jeno was surprised by his question because how did he know? How could he possibly know how his body was failing him? Surely… Dongyoung.

“Dongyoung told me when I met him outside the room. He apologized for punching me and said he couldn’t think straight after what you told him. So I asked him and he broke down in Jungwoo’s arms, crying about losing his almost brother.” Jaemin choked, a sob caught in his throat, but he wasn’t crying. “It wasn’t hard to add up. So please, tell me when Jeno…”

“Monday. My birthday is Monday. I’ll be 18 then.” Jeno had no choice but to tell him, but how could Jaemin be so calm. Had Mark lied to him? Did Jaemin… not like him? “Why are you not… more affected?”

Jaemin laughed dryly and smiled, but it wasn’t a smile he would show every time Jeno and he would meet. It was more distant, almost cold. “Do you want me to punch someone like Dongyoung? Or have a really embarrassing breakdown?” He choked again and tried to cover the whining sound with a cough, but he ended up sobbing out loud. The sound triggered Jeno’s own tears and he found himself crying again. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried so much in such a short span of time. But he didn’t need to be comforted anymore. Now it was Jaemin’s turn. 

Jeno had never seen Jaemin cry (they didn’t know each other for that long after all), but he knew he didn’t want to see his face contort in a mute pain with tears falling down his cheeks. So he brought his hand up (the one without the IV drip) to Jaemin’s face and pressed his palm against his cheek, wiping away some of his tears away. He didn’t expect Jaemin to lean into his touch, but it gave him the courage to try his luck a bit more. Tentatively, he led the boy’s head to his shoulder and felt content with himself when Jaemin made no move to get away. He let Jaemin cry on his shoulder while he cried in his friend and never-to-be boyfriend’s hair. He loved him so much, so badly that it was now hurting him physically.

“Do you really love me?” It was Jaemin’s voice, muffled, but his voice nonetheless, and it surprised Jeno. He wasn’t crying anymore, but He had just confessed his love to his soulmate-who-didn’t-know-they-had-a-soulmate without realizing. And now he had no choice but to once again answer Jaemin’s question. To be honest, he really didn’t tell him anything about why he was in this bed. He had just told him he was going to die soon.

“Jaemin… Of course, I love you…” Jeno took a deep breath then because what he was about to tell Jaemin was not in the right order of things. Usually, soulmates just knew. But in his case, he was the only one aware of the connection. “You’re my soulmate…”

“But- it’s impossible… Jeno, I-I don’t have any maze on me.” Jaemin was stammering in confusion, the new surprising him more than anything today.

“Did you see mine? I’m stuck in it.” He lifted his arm, something that was suddenly more difficult because of the IV drip and the heavy feeling in his arm. He managed to lift it up just enough so Jaemin could effectively see the uncomplete maze.

“I don’t understand… I thought you could live without a soulmate...” Jeno didn’t understand either, but it was his responsibility to try to tell Jaemin as much as he can. 

“I don’t really understand either but the doctor told me that my body was too weak to live without a soulmate. It doesn’t make sense…” It had finally dawned on Jeno that it made no sense that his body was suddenly feeling so weak just because he wasn’t Jaemin’s soulmate. He was a healthy teenage boy, in his prime, and he was active. He played soccer and worked out with Renjun when they had time. So, it really made no sense to him how is life was just ending like that.

He was lost in his thoughts until Jaemin let out a choked sound and tears started falling on Jeno’s collarbone again.

“Jaemin? What’s going on?”

The younger boy whined out his name as he sobbed loudly. “This is because of me! It’s all because of me! If I didn’t like you and tried to meet you so much you wouldn’t be here!”

Jeno couldn’t help but smile bitterly. “So you do like me after all…”

Jaemin mumbled in Jeno’s neck, but the boy still managed to understand his words. “Of course. Who wouldn’t?”

There wasn’t much said after that as there was probably nothing to be added. Jaemin had to come to terms with Jeno’s news was literally dying because of him and Jeno had to digest the fact that Jaemin liked him back, but this love was still impossible and it was frustrating to both of them. Instead, they just sat in silence, Jaemin’s head still on Jeno’s shoulder. The youngest was playing with Jeno’s fingers, finding a weird comforting feeling in the small action.

»»————-　　————-««

Everything went by really fast after that. Jaemin had spent a lot of time with Jeno at the hospital, despite having school work to keep up with. It was almost the end of the year and soon Jaemin would be a senior. Jeno had insisted that Jaemin focused on his study, and so had Mark, but Jaemin refused to let Jeno alone for longer than he felt necessary. He was forced to go back home when the nurses said visiting hours were over for the day. A day later, he brought his homework to the hospital and Jeno groaned when he noticed the numbers scattered around the page. He really hated precalc and he was no help to Jaemin whenever he didn’t understand something (Renjun did most of Jeno’s math homework in junior year). 

Jaemin didn’t say it, but he was doing it because he felt guilty. He was guilty because he was the reason why Jeno would never get to experience what it felt like to be loved by a soulmate, or anyone for that matter. Jeno had told him to not concern himself with what was happening, because it would have probably ended up the same way if they hadn’t met at all. But even Jeno’s words were not enough to help the younger boy relax around him. 

Jeno had insisted that Jaemin went to the soccer match on Sunday, but he just wasn’t feeling like it. Renjun and Donghyuck were supposed to accompany him to school to cheer their team on, but he wanted to be with Jeno on that day. Even Mark was coming so they could all go to the hospital after the match to give a thorough recap of the whole match. But just as he was getting ready to leave to go to Mark’s house, he got a call from Dongyoung. It was the call he feared the most and he just knew it was the beginning of the end.

 

Jaemin and Mark rushed to the hospital after Dongyoung called, the game long forgotten. Jaemin’s heart broke when he entered the room Jeno was in when he noticed the boy sitting up in his bed. He was pale, paler than he had been the days before, an oxygen mask pressed to his face. Jungwoo was sitting in the chair beside him, his hand gently stroking his hair. He wasn’t crying, but the dried streaks on his face were an indication that he had been just moments before Jaemin entered. Mark had stayed back in the hallway and Dongyoung was on the way back from picking up Donghyuck and Renjun since Mark was also their lift to the game.

“What happened? He was fine yesterday and now…” Jaemin was almost left speechless at the condition Jeno was in. Just yesterday they were talking and laughing.

Jaemin had told him he was thinking of graduating early so he could attend college at the same time as Renjun and Donghyuck. He didn't really have any friends in junior year anyway, seeing as he was a new student. And he was getting along with both of Jeno's friends. Jeno had told him that he would need to take summer classes to get enough credits, but the younger had just shrugged it off. It wasn't really a problem for him (it was better than staying inside the whole summer). Honestly, Jaemin had no idea what he wanted to be later, but going to university with friends was a dream he couldn't deny he had. And being with 01 liners was just… weird (according to Mark, anyone born after 1999 were still babies)

(“They're not that bad!” Jeno had protested when Mark had called them all babies.

“Are you kidding? You don't even know phones didn't always have 2 cameras!” Mark cried out, remembering the time Jaemin had laughed at his middle school mirror selfies.)

But now Jeno didn't even open his eyes when Jaemin came in the room.

“His kidneys are failing,” Jungwoo informed him.

Jaemin let himself fall on a chair beside Jeno's bed, the same chairs that had been there since Jeno was first admitted to the hospital. None were added.

“Jungwoo…” The oldest looked up at the mention of his name. “Are Jeno's parents going to visit?

Jungwoo sighed, making it quite clear to Jaemin that the answer was no. At the thought of Jeno being alone, Jaemin felt a pinch in his heart. Maybe he found his family annoying, but he couldn't imagine his life without the bickering with Yuta.

It was only when Jaemin took Jeno's hand in his, mostly to show him that he wasn't alone, that the boy laying down in the bed opened his eyes. He first saw Jungwoo before turning his head to look at Jaemin.

“Hey…” Jaemin greeted softly, his free hand going to Jeno's forehead, brushing some hair out of his eyes.

Jeno smiled at him from behind his mask, eyes forming moon crescents. How he could still be smiling, Jaemin had no idea. But knowing that his presence brightened up Jeno's day made him feel better. When Jeno moved his hand to his face, trying to take off the oxygen mask, Jaemin stopped him.

“Don't. You need it.” Jeno fought weakly against Jaemin’s hand before settling back comfortably in the bed, frowning. He wanted to talk with Jaemin despite the condition he was in.

They then sat in silence, Jaemin rubbing Jeno's hand with his thumb until Donghyuck, Renjun and Dongyoung came through the door, Mark following behind. They all took place around the bed, just like they had the days before. Seeing as there was now a lot more people in the room, Jeno was allowed to take off the mask so he could talk with his friends, occasionally putting it back to his nose so he could breathe more easily.

“You should have gone to the game…” Jeno scolded once everyone was sitting. “How will I know if we win?”

“Of course you would worry about that more than being in the hospital.” Donghyuck snorted, resulting in a hit behind the head from Renjun.

“I got Jinyoung’s number after the tryouts. He said he was going and that he would update me.”

Jeno frowned at the mention of Jinyoung because his last memory before ending up in the hospital was of Jaemin and Jinyoung hugging after they got in the track team.

Which suddenly reminded Jeno, “If you graduate early… Renjun will have to replace you on the track team?”

Everyone then looked at Jaemin because he had never mentioned graduating early in front of anyone except Jeno.

“You want to graduate early?” Mark was probably the one who was the most surprised at the news. “Please come to SNU!”

Donghyuck looked at Mark at the mention of SNU. “Me and Renjun-”

“Renjun and I.” Mark had interrupted him to correct him and Donghyuck didn't look happy about it (pet peeve alert!!).

“As I was saying,” Donghyuck looked at Mark for more emphasis, “Me and Renjun both applied to SNU.”

Mark rolled his eyes at Donghyuck's attitude, making Jeno snicker at them. “What are you majoring in? I'm in English literature.”

“No one speaks English other than you, Mark…” Jaemin mentioned. “Do you really think anyone else will major in that?”

“Hopefully, I'm accepted in vocal music…” Jeno smiled at Donghyuck before giving him two thumbs up in support. “But Renjun is crazy.”

The aforementioned boy smiled sheepishly. “I applied for a double major in linguistics and painting.”

Jungwoo, Dongyoung and Mark all made sounds of protest.

“Renjun, do you want to die?” The oldest in the room was staring at Donghyuck.

“I give you one semester before you drop out.” Mark snickered at the thought of college freshmen finally understanding what uni is all about. He learned it the hard way.

All this university talk had made everyone forget about the situation they were in. Everyone except Jeno. He couldn't really participate in the conversation as he still needed the oxygen mask, but also because he had no business talking about university and the future. He had not sent his application anywhere anyways and now it was pointless to do so. Jaemin noticed Jeno looking down and he leaned over to whisper in his ear.

“They'll do well.” At Jaemin's words, Jeno squeezed his hand and smiled. It was enough for both of them to forget about the bickering boys around. 

“I'm cold, Jaemin.” Jeno's hands were cold, Jaemin had noticed when he had first taken his hand in his. But it never became warmer, no matter how long he held it. And now he was slightly shivering under the thin hospital blanket. The younger boy knew his attempts at trying to warm Jeno up would most likely be futile, but it didn't stop him from climbing into bed and wrapping his arms around Jeno's waist. Jaemin was warm and Jeno sighed when the younger boy nuzzled in his neck, his breath fanning over his collarbone.

Silence then fell on the group until they heard the sound of a camera taking a picture. It made Jaemin look up, noticing Mark scratching the back of his head.

“Sorry…” Mark smiled awkwardly at them. “I still haven't figured out how to turn off that sound.”

It managed to make everyone laugh. Jaemin was relieved to feel Jeno's chest rumble slightly under his arm as he laughed with the others. The vibration of Jeno's chest almost made him miss the way his phone went off in his pocket. He smiled at the notification before realizing it was almost midnight.

He softly poked at Jeno's side to get his attention back.

“You won! Congrats Jeno!” Out of nowhere, Jaemin suddenly kissed Jeno's cheek, making the older boy blush under the oxygen mask, something only Jaemin could notice.

“Thanks, Jaemin.” His words were muffled by the mask, but Jaemin still understood. However, Jeno didn't like how his voice sounded so he took off the mask. “It's the best birthday present I think.”

“Happy birthday, Jeno…” Jaemin was whispering to Jeno, his face so close that their lips were almost touching. When they touched, Jaemin’s eyes fluttered shut and he felt his breath get stuck. He hoped Jeno felt like he did at the moment; the butterflies in his stomach and the sound of his heart beating wildly against his ribcage. He hoped that the words coming out of his mouth were enough to drown the sound of his heart breaking as it was the first and last time they shared a kiss. Jeno’s hand lightly tightened around his fingers so Jaemin knew he was still there with him. He was too weak to open his eyes or reciprocate the kiss, but Jaemin was warm and it was enough for him. Being so close to each other made them both obvious to the world around them, completely forgetting the other guys sitting in the room.

But mostly the burning on both their wrists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh i'm too tired to put embed links lmao so my twitter is @taehasus and my curious cat if you want to ask me anything is https://curiouscat.me/hyodream


	9. New beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first semester of uni is over. Jeno and Jaemin are doing great despite being apart and Renjun and Donghyuck are now the ones freaking out over love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter for Maze but don't fret young child! I decided to go somewhere different with this than what I first intended and instead I wrote more about Donghyuck and Renjun. It gave me the idea of writing a uni AU with markhyuck and renhei (i guess that's their ship name??) with side nomin. This is definitely shorter than the normal chapters, but it's supposed to be an intro for the next thing I'll write (I guess you can call it a sequel?).
> 
> To be honest, I don't really have any plot for the Yuwin fanfic (it was just something I wrote in class instead of listening to the teacher) so i will put that idea on hold for the moment. However, since I already know what I want to do with the luwoo fanfic, I will be writing both that and the uni AU. I don't know when I'll start posting but I want to get a good head start for both since not having any chapters in advance stresses me out.
> 
> PS: I'll never write Doyoung's name as Dongyoung... The more i wrote the more annoyed i became at how many letters his name has.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Death would be sweeter than the end of a semester in college,” Donghyuck sighed dramatically from where he was lying upside down on the simple bed.

It earned him a hit on the shoulder and a glare from Renjun before the oldest looked at Jaemin who was sitting at the desk. It wasn’t his room, but he came often to study or just complain about how he hates his psychology teacher and would ditch class to hang out at the cafe close to the main stadium. And every time it would spark a discussion between the three boys. Donghyuck would complain about how he really shouldn’t have taken the Italian and French diction class after he was accepted into the vocal music program (Renjun had told him not to because he knew Donghyuck would just complain about learning a new language). And Jaemin would retort that at least he had a future in psychology while Donghyuck was majoring in vocal music for nothing because “What is he going to do once he graduates?” Often, Donghyuck would turn to Renjun in hope that he would help him, but his soulmate would usually just ignore the annoyance that was burning in his chest simply because it wasn’t his.

“Death would be too easy,” Renjun’s attention was back on his books, the phonology manual opened on his lap, carefully color-coded with highlighters and post-its (green for phonemes, blue for accents and yellow for morphemes). Beside him was the book he had to buy for his history of Korean art and culture class, but he was already done with that class so that book was just useless for the next 3 years to come. “I still need to study for my history of linguistics exam, but this is taking all my time. It seems like I need more than 24 hours in a day.” He looked around the dorm room and noticed his computer on the unoccupied desk before sighing. “And I have a paper due Saturday for history of western art. Death does sound tempting…”

Jaemin suddenly looked up from his assignment, clicking his tongue. “Can you stop talking about death? I’m trying to concentrate over here.”

Donghyuck rolled on his stomach to take a better look at Jaemin. He was looking at the wall in front of him, gripping his pen tightly in his hand. Donghyuck averted his gaze from him to look at Renjun. The oldest was looking at him already and they exchanged a silent conversation. They both knew Jaemin missed Jeno a lot, but they couldn’t really do a lot about it. They knew college wasn’t what Jaemin expected and that he sometimes had regrets about graduating early. He had worked really hard to be able to join Donghyuck and Renjun on their first uni year, but apparently, fate wasn’t on his side. They had applied for a 4 beds dorm room, ready to share with a stranger, but the administration of the school made a mistake and put Donghyuck and Renjun alone in one room. So Jaemin was stuck at the other side of the residence complex, in a room with a junior, Sicheng. It was awkward at first, mostly because Sicheng was chinese and barely knew any Korean, but also because he was younger and had no idea how living alone (or with a roommate in his case) worked. But Renjun had made friends with him and also with Mark’s roommate, Yukhei, who was a sophomore like the Canadian boy.

“Jaemin…” The youngest’s head snapped around at the mention of his name, staring at Renjun. He had heard that tone in his friend’s voice one too many time since Jeno had left and he had enough. It had been almost a year already and they were still bringing it up.

“Don’t, Junnie,” Jaemin said in a warning tone. He knew what would come after his friend said his name. Usually, it was a chorus of ‘We know you miss him’ and ‘It’s okay’, but Jaemin really didn’t need to hear it. “Yes, I miss him. Yes, it’s okay. I know all of that already…” He sighed, something he had been doing a lot since Jeno had left, before looking down at his wrist. There was now a maze tattooed, the same one Jeno had on his own. He had gotten it during the summer, between two classes of precalc and biology. “I just want him back…”

The two other boys looked at each other again. They knew how much Jaemin had come to love their best friend in just a couple of days and how they spent almost every day together after Jeno was discharged from the hospital. They would tease them about how their kiss was so Disney-like and that’s what saved Jeno from dying. It would usually just earn them a couple of hits upside the head.

“He’ll be back in two weeks, Nana,” Renjun reassured him. “I still can’t believe his parents got involved and sent him to Canada. Why did they even do that anyway?”

Donghyuck rolled his eyes from his spot on the bed, “They said it would help him recover which in my opinion is bullshit. Did they really think that separating Jaemin and Jeno after he started getting better was a good idea?”

“Honestly, I think it’s stupid too,” Jaemin said. “But we didn’t really have a choice. And he was actually excited about going to Canada with Mark.”

“Speaking of Mark…” Renjun looked at Donghyuck with a mischievous look in his eyes. “How is it going with him?”

The question earned him another dramatic sigh from the boy, “It’s dead… He keeps calling me ‘man’ and ‘bro’... Can you believe the audacity?! I don’t know how to show him I’m interested anymore.”

Jaemin snickered, “I think Mark doesn’t know how flirting works.”

Donghyuck snorted at Jaemin’s comment, “Are you sure about that? Because he looks good at flirting with Yukhei. I swear they look like they’re dating!”

Jaemin looked over at Renjun to notice the oldest slightly twitch at the mention of Yukhei and Mark possibly dating. Renjun thought his big fat enormous crush on the fellow chinese student was subtle, but it really wasn’t. It just wasn’t obvious enough for Donghyuck to notice it.

“He’s coming back in two weeks, you should ask him on a date then,” Renjun’s suggestion wasn’t bad, but Donghyuck was probably the biggest coward when it came to dating.

“Hell no! I’m not going on a date unless he’s the one asking me!” Donghyuck protested loudly.

“Come on! You could go on a double date with Jeno and Jaemin!”

“Or you could ask Mark to bring Yukhei with him and you bring Renjun,” Jaemin smiled sneakily at the chinese boy and Renjun glared at him.

Donghyuck flew off the bed to stand in front of Jaemin before he started shaking his shoulders, “Are you actually crazy? They’ll think me and Renjun-” He was interrupted by Jaemin.

“Renjun and I-” But Jaemin was interrupted by Renjun.

“Actually, you can see me and Renjun. It depends on the situation. I just don’t think Hyuck knows when and how to use it.” Renjun had been trying to avoid the discussion that involved Yukhei and him being together in the same space, but he felt like he had to help Donghyuck out a bit.

“Yes, thank you, Junnie. I can’t tell if you just helped me or made me feel dumber, but thanks,” he turned back to Jaemin. “What if they think we’re dating? And they think we think they’re dating? And then they think we think they’re dating because we’re dating and they’re dating to make us think we’re dating and-” Jaemin was looking at him like the meme of the confused white man Jeno had sent them multiple times in the group chat. “What was I saying?”

Jaemin swatted Donghyuck’s hands away from his shoulders and turned back to the Freudian psychoanalysis assignment he was completing, “Ask him or I will do it myself.”

Donghyuck gulped, “Is that a threat?”

The youngest looked at him, challenging him to try to change his mind, “It sure is.”

Donghyuck whined before burying his face in the pillows on his bed, “I liked you more when Jeno was around.”

“Don’t worry sweety, he’ll be back in two weeks!”

Renjun just watched his 2 friends bicker from the side, glad that they had finally moved on from the topic of Yukhei. He was just happy that his friends were happy and soon, Jeno and Mark would be with them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/taehasus?lang=en) is just one click away (although I'm currently on hiatus on there and I'm only using my private acc please don't mind the cow layout lol) but if you have any question, my [CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/hyodream) is here and if you send me something, the answer will be posted on my main twitter account!
> 
> And finally, thank you to everyone who read this! It was my first time writing in years and I almost cried everytime I got a comment. I read every comment you left on here, even if I didn't reply to it. Thanks!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this and follow me on twitter if you want? @leejenowo


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